Insecure

Every person has insecurities. And I’m not generalizing, because I know its true.

Nothing’s wrong with a little insecurity, just as long as it doesn’t affect your personality as a whole. Some insecurities push you up while others pull you down. It all depends on how you face it.

In my case, I honestly admit that for a person my age, I have infinite insecurities. Physically, emotionally and mentally speaking. All these pull me down, and I take every single insecurity as a challenge, to make myself better and overcome them. But as time passes, I find myself constantly sinking into a deep ocean of envy and despair, not knowing how to get back up on my own. I tend to show independence most of the time, but I’m not. I just show a strong front so I would be less vulnerable to my insecurities.

People often see me as this brave, straightforward person that I appear to be, but only few know who I really am. I know I’m strong, because I know God won’t put me through something I conquer.. And actually, that’s what’s keeping me up all these years.

I’m just your common teen with a wild imagination and a very eccentric perspective. I’m no goddess nor a superhero. And from my hard shell, there’s fear, insecurity and hate. And protecting this hard shell is what I’ve mastered… I’ve been hiding everything for so long that I got a blank slate of ideas of what I’m gonna do when I’ve had enough.

My mind’s so full of thoughts that I, myself couldn’t sort them out anymore. I feel sad, hurt, angry, anxious and insecure. This doesn’t seem to make any sense at all, but its what I feel, and if I kept it in further, I’d lose my head.

I think I need to see a therapist.

Posted with WordPress for iPad

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