Yes, another love post. Just because I’m going through a lot of shit right now.
When I was younger, I always thought love was like the movies. You meet someone, you fall in love, you have problems, but find a solution best for everyone, and you live happily ever after. I guess I’ve realized that it wasn’t a long time ago, but felt its difference only now.
In more than 5 years of committing, I can say this is the worst thing that has ever happened.. For me. It has happened a lot of times already, and yes, history repeated itself. I didn’t see it coming, for the first time, I didn’t. But when I got that feeling, I knew it was real, and I proved myself right. And now I know never to doubt my gut feelings ever again.
Everything happens for a reason – this is what I hold onto every time I doubt, I feel pain, I feel down, neglected, etc. And maybe this happened, to make us both realize that we needed each other. We really do.
Every word I’ve written here inflicts a stinging pain because I remember things I want to forget, but I know somehow I gotta let it out. I couldn’t keep it in. I couldn’t possibly do it any longer, because it’s what I have been doing for how many years now.
I thought we needed time apart, but that clearly isn’t what we need, we just need compromise. We need to understand each other, and I think it’s happening already. Everything has been so overwhelming, that I get the “I don’t know anymore” feeling all the time… But I know we’re off to a fresh beginning. Setting aside pain, depression, stress and anxiety.
But I do not forget. I forgive, but I never forget.