Meet my family. We’re not rich. We have problems. We fight. We argue.
But we love each other, and for me.. That’s all that could ever matter.
With all the recent stuff happening, I came to a point where I didn’t know how to cope up anymore. I didn’t know what to do anymore, and it was never easy to get through that phase. I’ve been in and out of that situation, and until now, I still didn’t know what to do. Every single time I try to forget pain, something brings it back. Something, someone.
Its never easy getting back on your feet when trouble pulls you down. Its never easy to forget. And it never will be.
I love my family as it is. And I struggle everyday trying to protect that. As I said, we’re not rich. We don’t own a house. We don’t own a car. We don’t spend every waking moment spending money because we need to save for Klaud’s education. And as of now, this family is all I have. This is all WE have. And I wouldn’t let anything ruin that.
With the way I reacted to what happened, well, I got mad, of course. People tried to break my family. Was I wrong in wanting to have a happy relationship? A happy family? A complete family? Now, I’m being criticized for being hurt because of what THEY did to me. I never did anything wrong to them. I never said a foul word against them, in fact, I even tried helping them deal with their own problems. What did I do to deserve all that shit? I mean, seriously. No asking for sympathy, no anything. What in the world did I do to deserve that?
Was I wrong to have hard feelings towards a person who I always thought of as a friend, that turned out to be an accomplice to what had happened? It wasn’t intentional, they say. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. It still happened, and they wanted it to happen. How could I say that? It wouldn’t have had continued longer if they knew better. And now I’m wrong for being in pain?
Here’s one thing narrow minds would never understand about families. Families are forever. Families shouldn’t leave. Families are composed only of the mother, the father, and their children… Not with another woman trying to wreck it.
They do not understand, because they are hurt by their own relationships as well. They do not understand because they do not have their own families yet. They do not understand, simply because they refuse to. I could understand all that, but why do I have to be the one to take all their shit? Why do they even need to talk about me behind my back that way?
Some few months ago, I told myself I would stop arguing with people who think narrow. I tried, but they just won’t stop bothering me.
I never asked for this. I never asked to be part of anything like. All I wanted was a happy family. Was it my fault?