Enrollment Dilemma

Since almost being an instructor at ATI-Phils, I’ve been having this annoying dilemma for days now.

To enroll or not to?

This being my first job, I’m gonna have to have time to focus and adjust, of course, as I’m not yet used to the environment of being employed. Also, I figured, with all the dreams and goals (both short and long term) that I’ve set for myself, I’m gonna have to start pursuing them early, and this could be a pretty good start. Aaaand, that’s what’s bringing me to the side of skipping this semester and starting fresh on October.

On the other hand…

I’ve been itching to finish the remaining 2 years I have in college in order for me to be able to go full time on this job some time in the future. Aside from that, I am 500% sure that the mother wouldn’t approve of me stopping school for a while too. I’ve been studying so long, this would cause a very huge fight between us.

So what should I do now? I have less than a month to decide. This is confusing.

xx,
D♡

Visita Iglesia 2014

Being a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo my entire life, I’ve never experienced the different stuff that most catholics do – Holy Week traditions, Christmas traditions, and feast days.

This year, my in-laws brought us to Bulacan, to do Visita Iglesia. This was my first. I love their family, mainly because they’re all attached to one another, in a way that bonding is never forgotten.

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And today’s route was Bulacan-QC-Marikina. It was a very exhausting trip, but I enjoyed every second of it.

I got to visit different churches. All were very breath taking. Every church had its own history, and getting to visit them made me feel a bit of that history.

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It was nice having to leave the technology at home, too. I didn’t register for any surfing promos today, so I was pretty much away from the world of social media the entire day. I got to spend it fully with my boys 🙂

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The weather was almost unbearable, but then again, nothing beats sacrifice for Him, who sacrificed His life for us all.

I didn’t get to do the stations tho. I didn’t know how to do it, and that little monkey in jean jumpers just couldn’t contain himself, and we had to run after him all the time. I’m hoping next year we could already do the legit Visita Iglesia.

xx,
D♡

#PrayForThePhilippines

Last week, we were struck by a slightly moderate typhoon Labuyo. This ended our long weekend from Eid’l Fitr with a Monday class suspension. After that, we all thought again about humid days, fully loaded classes and another week with two non-working holidays.

Monday, Aug 19, was QC day. Hooray for us living in the city! Today was suspended due to another raging storm, Maring.

Last night I was hoping for suspension today. Why? Because I didn’t want to leave the house, knowing it will be raining hard as fuck and my son is at home alone with my grandmother. Not because I wanted more rain. Im sure a lot did too, because of the stress we go through in school and at work. And I was happy, I admit, because I didn’t have Thursday classes and now I will be going to school on Friday.

But I woke up this morning to very intense rainfall. Literally. Rain drops were mad and heavy. The skies were a mere combination of dark blue and gray. The wind blowing too hard, that my grandma’s chime collection hanging outside by the veranda was making all sorts of wild sounds. It was Dejavu. Like Ondoy, Sendong, Pablo all over again. I unlocked my phone to check Twitter updates, and then there it was, the top trending topic – #PrayForThePhilippines. 

With the hubby sleeping over, we had excuses to change channels for the TV. Usually, it’s set on either Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network, sometimes Disney, all for Klaud. News about flooding and other disasters everywhere.

For most people, like us, this is the kind of weather where we’re all chilling, watching movies, staying online, and complain about nothing but erratic internet. But have we ever considered thinking about those who do not live like us? A lot have been posting on Facebook and Twitter about things like: “Pray for the Philippines…”. “Stay safe everyone!”, and I even saw one saying, “Sana hanggang next week ang suspension.” I’m not being a hypocrite here, a week-long suspension’s favorable to me as well, as I would have more time with Klaud and worry less about school work. But then again, what about those living in the slums? What about those who do not have steady roofs above their heads? Those whose areas have been declared states of calamities? Those who do not earn enough to stock food like we do? Is this favorable to them?

Have we thought of that? NO. Because we’re all selfish in some way. We only think of our comfort. I mean, nowadays, you can count people who care in your fingers. They’ve grown that small. I’m not washing my own image here, but sometimes, I get the urge to help, but I do not know how. I’m just some plain old citizen, hearing, seeing and reading about these disasters that happen to our countrymen and I still haven’t thought of any way to help.

Today’s happenings being disseminated by the media in all ways have made me come to realizations. I am lucky because I have a stable home. I am lucky because I do not suffer. I am lucky because I will not go hungry. Let’s make a move and help!

Now, after this storm clears out, I swear I will look for ways to help. I won’t be able to make it big, but I know somehow I can. I suggest everyone do the same. Small hands can make a difference too.

#PrayForThePhilippines

Job opportunities. The limit does not exist.

Job opportunities. The limit does not exist.

I should’ve been a graduate from the class of 2013. I should’ve received my diploma and be either employed or looking for a nice paying job that’s worth my four years of time in College.
But I am not. I did not march to receive my diploma yet. I am not employed nor am I seeking employment yet.

Four years after high school, I am still on that nasty learning curve. I am just about to be as independent as I could get, and I am just in the middle of exploring life in a University. I am delayed by four years. I wasted four years. Four meaningful years that were all supposed to be dedicated to studying, developing the skills I have, and discovering a lot that I haven’t before. A lot of people see me as the perfect example for today’s wasted youth. I admit, I have been. But now, I am far too changed to still be referred to as that. But of course, everyone’s a critic and judgement will never leave anyone… Ever.

2009, I entered College with the most enthusiasm I have ever had. I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. And that year started my unending chain of unfortunate events.

People often talk about me like I’m the only person who isn’t able to wrap up studies in time. Like I’m the only person who has transferred schools and shifted courses almost every year. Like I’m a bad person. Like I am somehow associated with the devil.

They criticize what I choose based on what society thinks. Based on the status quo. Based on whatever majority of the people say. Well, I admit, I used to believe in all those too. Until I’ve been through what I’ve been through.

They say God could never put you in something you couldn’t conquer. And I prove that right. I am living proof of that…. Well, that’s on my own opinion tho. Not everyone goes through what I’ve been through and even if I haven’t even finished my studies and I am still halfway there, I could say I am successful. Because through all the ups and downs that came, I am still here, fighting. I have learned a lot from what I experienced and that counts as much as learning in school.

I am in no hurry. I don’t know until when I will be this optimistic. I do not know anything but to go on and keep moving forward.

A diploma? A job? Salary? My dreams? The limit does not exist. The limit goes as far as your imagination goes. I will never be afraid. I will never give up on anything.

Blogging: The essence is gone.

Etymology: 

A Web site on which an individual or group of users record opinions, information, etc. on a regular basis.

So, here’s the first critique of many, on how technology and lack of knowledge has changed people. 

PASSION VS TREND

Blogging has been a passion. I started blogging when I was about 11 years old, back in my frosh year in highschool. I was on Xanga then. I learned the essentials of blogging there. And also, since that was when the technology’s just rising, I did learn at an early age. Nowadays, people know this stuff like its the back of their hands. Its like an inborn thing. The codes, the CSS, the html… Pshh. I had to learn the hard way.

Redirecting… I’ve always been a neat blogger. I always wanted my blog so pretty and clean to look at, and I wanted people to know that it was MY blog. I post my photos, and thoughts, and anything and everything else I could think of. For how many years, that was what blogging was for me.

Now, I see people… I see CHILDREN. Yes, children on Tumblr. And I am not talking about 7 year olds. I’m talking about the tweens, just about to hit puberty. My sister’s on tumblr. She’s only 12. I found people on Tumblr, they’re  only.. what.. 10? 11? Geez. Kids that age shouldn’t be too exposed to the internet yet. When I was around that age, I spent my time outdoors playing with my friends, or playing with my dolls. But no. Since this is a new generation, they all waste their summers and their weekends and holidays.. ONLINE. And why do they go on Tumblr? TO REBLOG STUFF THAT OTHER PEOPLE POST. I even talked to someone who only made a Tumblr account just to reblog stuff. As written above, it’s a website to record opinions, info and shit like that.

POSERS. Not a new issue for this generation, but hey. It’s very noticeable. When I was 13-14, I had posers. They bombarded the profiles with sexual innuendos and stuff like that. Posers were bullies. Posers were stupid. And then lately, I find out that posers nowadays use other people’s faces to become a different person. Like literally living another person’s life… And without permission. AND KIDS LIKE TO DO THAT. THEY. LIKE. IT.

What the hell’s going on? I mean, I don’t wanna sound like an old grandma.. But.. WHAT THE FUCK GUYS! You kids are too young. You shouldn’t be blogging about your body, your insecurities, your crushes, and your heartaches! YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE INSECURE YET. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING HEARTACHES. What has happened to humanity!!! 

*Sorry for the rage. I’m just really concerned. They are getting really really reeeeeally worse.*

Just one of them summer obsessions.

Every summer, I get into these crazes which are really uncontrollable. I mean, I stay up til morning just to do them and the like.

Summer of 2009, Billiards.
2010, Ragnarok Online & adobe Photoshop
2011, League of Legends
2012, WordPress
2013…. MAKE UP.

Yes, you did not read it wrong. I really meant make up.

I’ve been wearing makeup for as long as I could remember. But I do not know how to play with it, and make myself really beautiful with it. I used to just wear makeup because it prevents me from looking all tired and stuff. That’s just it. A bit if concealer, press powder, blush and gloss. Further into maturity, I’ve discovered bit by bit how to make use of all the makeup that’s been here for so long. Some came in as gifts from way back, some I bought ’cause I thought they were really nice, and some.. just there because I felt like I needed it.

So, how did I start getting crazy with the makeup? YOUTUBE. My sister showed me the Barbie tutorial posted by Michelle Phan (look her up, she makes really easy to follow tutorials), and thought I’d try it myself.

I tried playing with myself last night which didn’t work quite well because I did it around 10pm inside my poorly lit room. Tonight, I found my trusty old desk lamp which I used to clip around my drafting table in 2009 whenever I needed sufficient lighting for my plates. But since I abandoned fine arts, I dismantled my drafting table and also the other things I attached to it. Lucky find!

I’ll post what I will be doing in about an hour or so, after I’ve done it 🙂 Ciao!! xx

ERRRRMERGERRRRD!!

Today, I justreceived a notification from my WordPress app saying today’s my biggest day for likes. And I just want to thank you all for it. For the likes, and for having patience in reading my senseless blog posts.

To my new followers, thanks for the support and for taking interest in what I do 😊

To all my followers in general, feel free to talk to be about anything! I would love to meet you guys and make new friends.

AGAIN, THANKS FOR FOLLOWING AND LIKING MY BLOG AND POSTS!! I feel the love!! ❤❤❤

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Insecure

Every person has insecurities. And I’m not generalizing, because I know its true.

Nothing’s wrong with a little insecurity, just as long as it doesn’t affect your personality as a whole. Some insecurities push you up while others pull you down. It all depends on how you face it.

In my case, I honestly admit that for a person my age, I have infinite insecurities. Physically, emotionally and mentally speaking. All these pull me down, and I take every single insecurity as a challenge, to make myself better and overcome them. But as time passes, I find myself constantly sinking into a deep ocean of envy and despair, not knowing how to get back up on my own. I tend to show independence most of the time, but I’m not. I just show a strong front so I would be less vulnerable to my insecurities.

People often see me as this brave, straightforward person that I appear to be, but only few know who I really am. I know I’m strong, because I know God won’t put me through something I conquer.. And actually, that’s what’s keeping me up all these years.

I’m just your common teen with a wild imagination and a very eccentric perspective. I’m no goddess nor a superhero. And from my hard shell, there’s fear, insecurity and hate. And protecting this hard shell is what I’ve mastered… I’ve been hiding everything for so long that I got a blank slate of ideas of what I’m gonna do when I’ve had enough.

My mind’s so full of thoughts that I, myself couldn’t sort them out anymore. I feel sad, hurt, angry, anxious and insecure. This doesn’t seem to make any sense at all, but its what I feel, and if I kept it in further, I’d lose my head.

I think I need to see a therapist.

Posted with WordPress for iPad

Ombre & my 20th ♥

Im back foreal!!!!!! 🙂

Summer. Oh Summer..

Unlike everyone else, I’m not excited about the beach, or swimming. I’m pretty much excited about being able to blog freely again. Haha 🙂

So, a lot has happened lately and here’s one of the most memorable events!

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YES. I DYED MY HAIR RED AND BLONDE. 🙂

Since early 2012, I’ve been wanting to dip dye or Ombre my hair. But since I had short hair then, I didn’t go for it and dyed my hair a lighter brown instead.

This year, I got my mind finally made up and had it done. I used to plan for a brown to blonde ombre, but that style’s becoming too mainstream already. I wanted a brown to red but I didnt think it would look nice. And since I was battling with myself before on what color to put, I decided to use both my choices. Hahaha.

I must admit tho, for such a low price… Its not bad! 🙂 I did it as an advanced birthday gift for myself. And as always, I wanted to stand out. And that craving is now satisfied. ♥

Well, I gotta run. I have to wake up early. School’s demanding a very time consuming activity to be passed on Wednesday. Be back soon! Good night!!! ♥

Whats uppppppp

Hellooooooo!!! I. AM. BACK. Again.

I’ve been inactive for a while, since I got my iPad aaaand I’ve been spending more time with m boys than usual. But now, I downloaded this WordPress app for my iPad and now I am so back!!

So.. How have you guys been? Missed me? Because I missed all of youuuu!! ☺

Anw, more posting to come.. For now, I gotta rest. Classes at 7:30 am!